Overidentifying with one diagnosis has a shrinking effect on our lives.
I have fallen into this trap for years and I was unaware of the meaning of overindentifying with ones diagnosis.
This led to numerous negative effects on my life:
Narrow my Identity
Before the 2006 relapse and complications which also led to injuries and chronic fatigue my fitness level changed dramatically and I could not practice sports and enjoy my hobbies. Part of my identity and self-worth collapsed and I saw that my illnesses, that took around a decade to understand and accept, as my new identity.
Increased Victim Mentality
I blamed the physicians and also my parents for the my health for years. However, as I kept educating myself, and I saw nothing positive coming from this blame even if there was some truth in it, I did what I could do with what I had at the moment and did my best to grow in my personal and professional life.
Avoidance of Growth Opportunities
Opportunity for healing and expansion like:
I rarely socialized or met new people—or even reconnected with old friends—despite knowing how valuable these connections could be. Expanding my professional and personal network opens doors to fresh ideas, collaborations, and potential clients, yet I still kept my interactions limited.
Challenging situations, such as trying a new sport which could be seen as risky or even dangerous but actually is not, as when I mustered courage around 11 months ago to try to use a bicycle again. It turned out it is a great idea to get back to fitness and have fun.
At that time, fear of getting hurt held me back, and I never even believed it was possible to use a bicycle to begin with.
Reduced Resilience
When someone thinks his illnesses define him, he adopts fixed mindset and not growth mindset. This belief reduces the chance of learning new coping skills to manage and improves one’s condition such as regular exercises, journaling, breathing techniques, eating healthy…
Resilience is generally built when facing discomfort in a safe and supported manner. We can generally accept the issues we are facing as temporary and adapt and grow from there. The main idea is to know that “yes we can” and “we do try”, thus succeeding becomes possible. Otherwise, if we are stuck in our negativity and we do not even try it is certain we won’t succeed.
Elon Musk says it in his own way:
The first step is to establish that something is possible; then probability will occur.
Stigma Internalization
This happen when someone absorbs negative societal beliefs about his own mental health disorders and turns them inwards. When amplified by overidentification will damage to the sufferer further.
To use a technical word adopting “limiting beliefs” is when someone thinks he is lesser than other people or is inherently flawed after internalizing societal messages.
Not accepting our mental disorder and feeling shameful because of it and censoring ourselves out of fear of judgment leads to isolation & worsen the symptoms.
As a matter of fact, I used to fixate on the symptoms of my disorders that lead to acting in a weirder way which can make it obvious that I have mental health issues, a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example sometimes, I say something and its opposite in the same sentence, omitting words from a sentence etc…, this may be due to many things such as:
– Racing thoughts, flight of ideas and pressured speech as I am bipolar
– Self-editing while speaking as I am still to some extent a perfectionist intrusive thoughts because of OCD.
I tended to judge myself as fundamentally broken rather than simply acknowledging I have some challenges to work through. This self-criticism just feeds my anxiety, which then leaves me both mentally and physically exhausted. The truth is, if I could recognize and accept my perfectionist tendencies, racing thoughts, self-editing, I’d be in a much better position to push back against them.
How to fight back all these negative aspects of overidentification:
Reframe our Language
To create a distance between myself and the disorder and to treat my disorder as a temporary state not as a fixed identity. For example I would say “I’m experiencing anxiety right now.” instead of “I am anxious.”
This will help create a mental space for a new perspective, self-compassion and change.
Focus on Strengths not Symptoms
Ask “What have I overcome, what am good at?”
It is a good ideas as well to print in a paper my skills, successes and accomplishments after the diagnosis.
A bullet list will do the job. You can put it somewhere you see everyday like next to your computer screen. Or create a reminder on your computer or smartphone where it will pop up every now & then so that you do not forget your successes and be aware that we are more than one’s diagnoses.
Reconnected with my Pre-Diagnosis Interests
As sport was an integral part of my identity before health complications, it was also a healthy and fun activity, I kept trying to rekindle this activity with generally one failure after the other. As I suffer from chronic fatigue, muscle contraction, and I could not implement a progressive approach to my training. Besides, I could not grasp how weak I have became.
However, as I am acquiring more tools and knowledge about my mental & physical conditions, I am visiting the orthopedist very rarely the last 3 years comparing to very frequent visits before. I am managing and improving my fitness better than before.
Being flexible and ready to take calculated risks, I have succeeded memorably in using a bicycle as the main mean of transportation for 11 months straight, also I use it as aerobic exercise and I sweated regularly using it even during the winter. In fact, I did not do aerobic exercises or sweated after physical activity for around 19 years.
As my cycling journey continues with a respectable degree of success I am gaining more confidence and rebuilding my identity as a fit and sporty man.
Another sport that I am revisiting is surfcasting, that is fishing from the shore using a fishing rod. As I live next to the beach and being a biophile this sport is relaxing and fun. As a naturally curious person and avid learner this activity nudges me to study marine life, the weather, fishing techniques and so forth.
Adopt Non-Mental Health Roles & Develop New Skills
As I am adopting non-mental health roles, I define myself by what I do and contribute to not the health issues I manage.
To reinforce growth mindset, I am learning computer science by having my own home server. Thus, I am learning Linux system administrator skills as well as coding skills. This is very fun and engaging. When I dive into it I forget about my health issues.
Moreover, I am studying software internationalization which may support career growth.
Furthermore, I contribute to open-source projects which enable me connect with new people that are interested with the same projects, learn new skills and give back to the community. Open-source contribution also boosts my professional portfolio.
Another skill that facilitates my growth and empowers my physical & mental health is cooking. I cook only healthy food and I enjoy going to the market to choose fresh produce. I watch YouTube video and read different articles to explore new recipes, get inspired.
Thus, I see myself as learner, a computer savvy, a cook, a cyclist, a angler, and blogger not the person who used to be overwhelmed with various ailments and mental health issue.
Of course forging a new identity requires courage, effort and time.
Balance Acceptance with Agency to Manage Overidentification
The forces of acceptance and agency seem opposite, however they work hand in hand to reclaim a sense of control over one’s mental health without falling into the trap of denial and resignation.
Below is what I did to strike balance to accept our conditions & shape our lives:
Acceptance: A Foundation for Clarity
I used to be shameful of having mental health issues, however, my bipolar disorder even though I am stable for around 20 years, has led to a significant damage to my life.
Not accepting my diagnosis results in further suffering, waste energy, and delays progress.
Acceptance signals the start of managing my mental disorders. It means acknowledging my diagnosis and impact without judgement. It’s saying “Right now, I have OCD, PTSDPTSD Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event.
Key symptoms may include: Flashbacks or intrusive memories of the event, nightmares or disturbing thoughts, emotional distress or physical reactions to reminders of the trauma, avoidance of places, people, or activities that trigger memories of the event, difficulty sleeping or concentrating. and Bipolar disorder “ rather than “This is who I am forever”.
This reduces internal conflicts and negativity which gave me more space and energy for problem solving. This allows me to plan and adjust for them such as: doing Exposure & Response Prevention for OCD, planning a better sleep hygiene, plan for Bipolar Disorder cycles etc.
It is also important to practice radical acceptance and mindful observation of our conditions to reduce the intensity of overidentification. Even when suffering deeply we’d rather say: “I have OCD, and fighting that truth only deepens my suffering.” as well as mindfully noticing the symptoms with attaching negative labels to them: “My anxiety is high today” instead of “I’m failing because I’m anxious”.
Agency: Own your story, steer your mind
Agency is of utmost importance and we’d rather believe that we can influence our lives despite the constraints. I learned this from therapy and it took me around 4 therapy sessions to grasp it.
Thus despite my bipolar disorder, PTSD, OCD, back problem, chronic fatigue, joints issues and even more, I was able to avoid further damage first, then move forward with my life.
Put agency in action with value-based action, by aligning actions with what matters to oneself such as: “even if I am tired today, I will cook to myself a healthy meal and avoid junk food to nourish my mind and body with the best fuel possible aligning with my goals and self-respect.”
Besides, we can use micro-action as a way to practice agency, as an example even if I have tendinitis on my knee instead of cycling for 1 hour I will cycle for 10 minutes or just walk.
The Synergy of Acceptance and Agency
These forces are not opposite they are work hand in hand as partners. As an example, as a bipolar person I accept the susceptibility to manic episodes (acceptance) while creating a relapse-prevention plan (agency). I acknowledge the risk without letting it dictate my future.
How to Combine this Cohesively
- Acknowledge the limitations: “My OCD makes socializing difficult”.
- Choose a response: “I will attend the gathering for 30 minutes & I will use grounding techniques such as breathing exercises”.
- Reflect & adjust: “I showed up, even if I left early. This is still progress. I may try to use other techniques and do more ERP for OCD”
Pitfall to Avoid
- Over-Acceptance: Resigning to the diagnosis e.g., “I’ll never work again because of my anxiety”. Or “It is impossible to be fit again because of my tendinitis and back pain”.
=> Fix: Pair acceptance with curiosity: “What accommodations could help me thrive at work?”, or “Are there low impact sports I can do progressively to get back in a good shape”. - Toxic Positivity: Forcing agency without acknowledging the pain. This can be physical or mental pain, and pushing through the pain can make us suffer more and generally as a consequence we will need more time to recover as well. Such as: “Do not care about the your fear they are just mental.”
=>Fix: Validate struggles first: “This is hard, and I’ll still try one small step.”
Conclusion
Living at the intersection of acceptance and agency means holding two truths simultaneously: yes, I have enduring conditions that require management, and yes, I am capable of reinvention. The orthopedist’s waiting room visits have decreased not because my body changed, but because my mindset did. Where I once saw a permanent damage I see it now as a puzzle to solve—adjusting cycling posture for tendonitis, modifying recipes for energy levels, psychoeducation to have more insights. This nuanced approach has yielded something unexpected: a life where bipolar disorder, OCD, chronic fatigue, and PTSD exist alongside coding projects, surfcasting adventures, cycling trips and the smell of fresh herbs sautéing in olive oil. Not cured, but certainly unbounded.